Puzzelsnog een goeie(vind ik persoonlijk)
een bejaarde man en vrouw zitten in de auto. Ze rijden op de E40 aan 40km/h. Natuurlijk komt er dan net een politieagent af en roept hen aan de kant:
zegt hij tegen de man, die aan het zit:
- waarom rijdt u aan 40km/h?
--> wel, dit is toch de E40, dus 40km/h
- waarom is uw vrouw zo geshockt?
-->we komen van de E403
...
lol
Moppentapper
Moderator: Rhiannon
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ArcherBarry
- Artikelen: 0
- Berichten: 5.256
- Lid geworden op: di 27 nov 2007, 21:18
Re: Moppentapper
Verliefd zijn is net als scheiten in je broek.
Iedereen kan het zien maar alleen jij heb dat speciale warme gevoel [!]
Iedereen kan het zien maar alleen jij heb dat speciale warme gevoel [!]
Niet geschoten is altijd mis, en te snel schieten vaak ook.
Ik ben intelligent want ik weet dat ik niks weet. Socrates
Ik ben intelligent want ik weet dat ik niks weet. Socrates
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ArcherBarry
- Artikelen: 0
- Berichten: 5.256
- Lid geworden op: di 27 nov 2007, 21:18
Re: Moppentapper
ik vraag me af welke auto 403 km/h kan.LP-078 schreef: nog een goeie(vind ik persoonlijk)
een bejaarde man en vrouw zitten in de auto. Ze rijden op de E40 aan 40km/h. Natuurlijk komt er dan net een politieagent af en roept hen aan de kant:
zegt hij tegen de man, die aan het zit:
- waarom rijdt u aan 40km/h?
--> wel, dit is toch de E40, dus 40km/h
- waarom is uw vrouw zo geshockt?
-->we komen van de E403
...
lol
ik vertel deze mop meestal als blondine achter het stuur met pa en dan 7km/h op de A7 en 240 op de N240
Niet geschoten is altijd mis, en te snel schieten vaak ook.
Ik ben intelligent want ik weet dat ik niks weet. Socrates
Ik ben intelligent want ik weet dat ik niks weet. Socrates
Re: Moppentapper
Ik vertel deze mop altijd met 20 km/h op de A20 en 105 km/h op de N105...
Re: Moppentapper
Omdat je Renaultje niet harder kan, waarschijnlijkMarjanne schreef: Ik vertel deze mop altijd met 20 km/h op de A20 en 105 km/h op de N105...
I'm not suffering from insanity - I'm enjoying every minute of it!!
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ArcherBarry
- Artikelen: 0
- Berichten: 5.256
- Lid geworden op: di 27 nov 2007, 21:18
Re: Moppentapper
Waarom heet de gevreesde film van Wilders Fitna?
Film Is Toch Niet Af.
Film Is Toch Niet Af.
Niet geschoten is altijd mis, en te snel schieten vaak ook.
Ik ben intelligent want ik weet dat ik niks weet. Socrates
Ik ben intelligent want ik weet dat ik niks weet. Socrates
Re: Moppentapper
Briljant! Geniaal!!!!!ArcherBarry schreef: Verliefd zijn is net als scheiten in je broek.
Iedereen kan het zien maar alleen jij heb dat speciale warme gevoel [!]
Encore Encore!!!
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ArcherBarry
- Artikelen: 0
- Berichten: 5.256
- Lid geworden op: di 27 nov 2007, 21:18
Re: Moppentapper
met dank aan een collega van me 
Niet geschoten is altijd mis, en te snel schieten vaak ook.
Ik ben intelligent want ik weet dat ik niks weet. Socrates
Ik ben intelligent want ik weet dat ik niks weet. Socrates
Re: Moppentapper
Teacher: What is the formula for water?
Student: H, I, J, K, L, M, N, O.
Teacher: That's not what I taught you.
Student: But you said the formula for water was... H to O.
Student: H, I, J, K, L, M, N, O.
Teacher: That's not what I taught you.
Student: But you said the formula for water was... H to O.
Jurn [WSF - Technicus]
It is better to be silent and be thought a fool, than to speak and remove all doubt -- Abraham Lincoln
Duct tape is like the force. It has a light side, a dark side, and it holds the universe together.... - Carl Zwanzig
It is better to be silent and be thought a fool, than to speak and remove all doubt -- Abraham Lincoln
Duct tape is like the force. It has a light side, a dark side, and it holds the universe together.... - Carl Zwanzig
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ArcherBarry
- Artikelen: 0
- Berichten: 5.256
- Lid geworden op: di 27 nov 2007, 21:18
Re: Moppentapper
lol
deze is alleen leuk als je die zecht en niet echt leest.
wat is H2OI?
HOOI
deze is alleen leuk als je die zecht en niet echt leest.
wat is H2OI?
HOOI
Niet geschoten is altijd mis, en te snel schieten vaak ook.
Ik ben intelligent want ik weet dat ik niks weet. Socrates
Ik ben intelligent want ik weet dat ik niks weet. Socrates
Re: Moppentapper
Weet je waneer je je echt genaaid moet voelen?
Als je bukt en tussen je benen kijkt je vier ballen ziet hangen......
Als je bukt en tussen je benen kijkt je vier ballen ziet hangen......
Re: Moppentapper
One hydrogen atom goes to the other and says,
"i think i've lost an electron", the other asks,
"are u sure?", and he replies,
"yes...........i'm positive!!"
"i think i've lost an electron", the other asks,
"are u sure?", and he replies,
"yes...........i'm positive!!"
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ArcherBarry
- Artikelen: 0
- Berichten: 5.256
- Lid geworden op: di 27 nov 2007, 21:18
Re: Moppentapper
Waarom zijn de bananen krom?
omdat ze anders niet in hun schilletje passen
omdat ze anders niet in hun schilletje passen
Niet geschoten is altijd mis, en te snel schieten vaak ook.
Ik ben intelligent want ik weet dat ik niks weet. Socrates
Ik ben intelligent want ik weet dat ik niks weet. Socrates
Re: Moppentapper
The last words of a chemist:
1. And now the tasting test.
2. May that become hot?
3. And now a little bit from this...
4. ... and please keep that test tube alone!
5. And now shake it a bit.
6. Why is there no label on this bottle?
7. In which glass was my mineral water?
8. The bunschen burnes *is* out!
9. Why does that stuff burn with a green flame?!?
10. *H* stands for Nitrogen - and that does *not* burn...
11. Oh, now I have spilt something...
12. First the acid, then the water...
13. And now the detonating gas problem.
14. This is a completely safe experimental setup.
15. Where did I put my gloves?
16. O no, wrong beaker...
17. The fire alarm is just being tested.
18. Now you can take the protection window away...
19. And now keep ith constat at 24 degrees celsius, 25... 26... 27...
20. Peter can you please help me. Peter!?! Peeeeeteeeeer?!?!?!?
21. I feel it how long 15 seconds are!
22. Something is wrong here...
23. Where do all those holes in my kettle come from?
24. Trust me - I know what I am doing.
25. And now a cigarette...
Top Ten ways to get thrown out of chemistry lab:
10. Pretend an electron got stuck in your ear, and insist on describing the sound to others.
9. Give a cup of liquid nitrogen to a classmate and ask, "Does this taste funny to you?"
8. Consistently write three atoms of potassium as "KKK."
7. Mutter repeatedly, "Not again... not again... not again."
6. When it's very quiet, suddenly cry out, "My eyes!"
5. Deny the existence of chemicals.
4. Begin pronouncing everything your immigrant lab instructor says exactly the way he/she says it.
3. Casually walk to the front of the room and urinate in a beaker.
2. Pop a paper bag at the crucial moment when the professor is about to pour the sulfuric acid
1. Show up with a 55-gallon drum of fertilizer and express an interest in federal buildings.
YOU MIGHT BE A CHEMIST IF
- You keep a picture of Mme. Curie over your desk -- and it turns you on.
- You named your firstborn after one of the lanthanides, and than felt
compelled to have more until you had the whole set.
- When you had an unexpected sixteenth child, you just had to name him
actinium, and now you're not sure how to stop.
- You know that Anal. Chem. is not the title of a raunchy video.
- You think that fresh air smells bad.
- You're a chemist if you wash your hands BEFORE you use the bathroom.
- you played with explosives as a kid - and still have all you're
fingers.
- you're favorite activity is testing the water in the fish tank - and
you don't even have any fish.. (if you have fish, you are a
biochemist).
1. And now the tasting test.
2. May that become hot?
3. And now a little bit from this...
4. ... and please keep that test tube alone!
5. And now shake it a bit.
6. Why is there no label on this bottle?
7. In which glass was my mineral water?
8. The bunschen burnes *is* out!
9. Why does that stuff burn with a green flame?!?
10. *H* stands for Nitrogen - and that does *not* burn...
11. Oh, now I have spilt something...
12. First the acid, then the water...
13. And now the detonating gas problem.
14. This is a completely safe experimental setup.
15. Where did I put my gloves?
16. O no, wrong beaker...
17. The fire alarm is just being tested.
18. Now you can take the protection window away...
19. And now keep ith constat at 24 degrees celsius, 25... 26... 27...
20. Peter can you please help me. Peter!?! Peeeeeteeeeer?!?!?!?
21. I feel it how long 15 seconds are!
22. Something is wrong here...
23. Where do all those holes in my kettle come from?
24. Trust me - I know what I am doing.
25. And now a cigarette...
Top Ten ways to get thrown out of chemistry lab:
10. Pretend an electron got stuck in your ear, and insist on describing the sound to others.
9. Give a cup of liquid nitrogen to a classmate and ask, "Does this taste funny to you?"
8. Consistently write three atoms of potassium as "KKK."
7. Mutter repeatedly, "Not again... not again... not again."
6. When it's very quiet, suddenly cry out, "My eyes!"
5. Deny the existence of chemicals.
4. Begin pronouncing everything your immigrant lab instructor says exactly the way he/she says it.
3. Casually walk to the front of the room and urinate in a beaker.
2. Pop a paper bag at the crucial moment when the professor is about to pour the sulfuric acid
1. Show up with a 55-gallon drum of fertilizer and express an interest in federal buildings.
YOU MIGHT BE A CHEMIST IF
- You keep a picture of Mme. Curie over your desk -- and it turns you on.
- You named your firstborn after one of the lanthanides, and than felt
compelled to have more until you had the whole set.
- When you had an unexpected sixteenth child, you just had to name him
actinium, and now you're not sure how to stop.
- You know that Anal. Chem. is not the title of a raunchy video.
- You think that fresh air smells bad.
- You're a chemist if you wash your hands BEFORE you use the bathroom.
- you played with explosives as a kid - and still have all you're
fingers.
- you're favorite activity is testing the water in the fish tank - and
you don't even have any fish.. (if you have fish, you are a
biochemist).
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Re: Moppentapper
If you're not part of the solution, you're part of the precipitate!
A neutron walks into a restaurant and orders a couple of cokes. As she is about to leave, she asks the waiter how much she owes. The waiter replies, "For you, No Charge!!!"
Nog een aantal hele flauwe chemie grapjes:
A sign outside the chemistry hotel reads "Great Day Rates, Even Better NO3-'s"
A small piece of ice which lived in a test tube fell in love with a Bunsen burner. "Bunsen! my flame! I melt whenever I see you" said the ice. The Bunsen burner replied :"It's just a phase you're going through".
Heisenberg is out for a drive when he's stopped by a traffic cop. The cop says: " Do you know how fast you were going? Heisenberg replies: "No, but I know where I am".
Why did the white bear dissolve in water? Because it was polar.
What do you call a tooth in a glass of water? A one molar solution.
What do dipoles say in passing? "Have you got a moment?"
Why does hamburger have lower energy than steak? Because it's in the ground state.
What do you do with a dead chemists? Barium
What weapon can you make from the elements potassium, nickel and iron? A KNiFe.
What did one titration tell the other? Let's meet at the endpoint.
Why are chemists great for solving problems? They have all the solutions.
Did you hear about the chemist who was reading a book about Helium? He just couldn't put it down.
Why do chemistry professors like to teach about ammonia? Because it's basic material.
What is a cation afraid of? A dogion.
What did the Cowboy Chemist tell his horse? HIO Ag!!!!
How many moles are in a guacamole? Avocado's number.
Why did Carbon marry Hydrogen? They bonded well from the minute they met.
What kind of ghosts haunt chemistry faculties? Methylated spirits.
If H20 is water what is H204? Drinking, bathing, washing, swimming. . .
According to a chemist, why is the world so diverse? Because it's made up of alkynes of people.
What's the difference between Chemistry and cooking? In Chemistry, you should never lick the spoon.
A group of organic molecules were having a party, when a group of robbers broke into the room and stole all of the guest's joules. A tall, strong man, armed with a machine gun came into the room and killed the robbers one by one. The guests were very grateful to this man, and they wanted to know who he was. He replied: My name is BOND, Covalent Bond.
A freshman chemistry student prepared a standard solution and showed it to her professor. The professor gave her a puzzled look, and said: This solution looks a bit WEIRD. Are you sure you used the right set of reagents? The student replied: Absolutely. According to my calculations, this is one NORMAL solution.
A neutron walks into a restaurant and orders a couple of cokes. As she is about to leave, she asks the waiter how much she owes. The waiter replies, "For you, No Charge!!!"
Nog een aantal hele flauwe chemie grapjes:
A sign outside the chemistry hotel reads "Great Day Rates, Even Better NO3-'s"
A small piece of ice which lived in a test tube fell in love with a Bunsen burner. "Bunsen! my flame! I melt whenever I see you" said the ice. The Bunsen burner replied :"It's just a phase you're going through".
Heisenberg is out for a drive when he's stopped by a traffic cop. The cop says: " Do you know how fast you were going? Heisenberg replies: "No, but I know where I am".
Why did the white bear dissolve in water? Because it was polar.
What do you call a tooth in a glass of water? A one molar solution.
What do dipoles say in passing? "Have you got a moment?"
Why does hamburger have lower energy than steak? Because it's in the ground state.
What do you do with a dead chemists? Barium
What weapon can you make from the elements potassium, nickel and iron? A KNiFe.
What did one titration tell the other? Let's meet at the endpoint.
Why are chemists great for solving problems? They have all the solutions.
Did you hear about the chemist who was reading a book about Helium? He just couldn't put it down.
Why do chemistry professors like to teach about ammonia? Because it's basic material.
What is a cation afraid of? A dogion.
What did the Cowboy Chemist tell his horse? HIO Ag!!!!
How many moles are in a guacamole? Avocado's number.
Why did Carbon marry Hydrogen? They bonded well from the minute they met.
What kind of ghosts haunt chemistry faculties? Methylated spirits.
If H20 is water what is H204? Drinking, bathing, washing, swimming. . .
According to a chemist, why is the world so diverse? Because it's made up of alkynes of people.
What's the difference between Chemistry and cooking? In Chemistry, you should never lick the spoon.
A group of organic molecules were having a party, when a group of robbers broke into the room and stole all of the guest's joules. A tall, strong man, armed with a machine gun came into the room and killed the robbers one by one. The guests were very grateful to this man, and they wanted to know who he was. He replied: My name is BOND, Covalent Bond.
A freshman chemistry student prepared a standard solution and showed it to her professor. The professor gave her a puzzled look, and said: This solution looks a bit WEIRD. Are you sure you used the right set of reagents? The student replied: Absolutely. According to my calculations, this is one NORMAL solution.
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